dear baby. post 1.

*these are letters I wrote to our baby before he was born. we did not find out he was a boy until he was born. some of these letters are well over a year old but that doesn't make the words any less true.

April 6, 2013

dear baby,

today was a big day. probably the biggest day your dad and i have had since we were married. it was a little unexpected, but completely expected at the same time. you see, i have been feeling a little weird for the past little while but didn’t think much of it. i have only been off my birth control pills for just over a month and was a couple days late but i thought it was just due to my hormones figuring themselves out. news flash: it wasn’t.

tonight, dad and i went to dinner at won won wok in saratoga springs. it was recommended by a friend and was our first time eating there. while we were there we talked about the weird feelings and symptoms i had been having and eventually your dad talked me into taking a pregnancy test when we got home. i was feeling very nervous and anxious about it because deep down, i think i knew about you.

i had a test at home because i had taken one a month earlier because i was late. it was negative and the other test sat in the drawer, just waiting for the big day. we came home and i took the test and without peeking, put it face down on the bathroom counter. i met your dad in the living room and we sat on the couch and talked for a few minutes. when the two minute time requirement had passed, we went into the bathroom, took a deep breath, and turned over the test. as soon as we turned it over, we saw those two little pink lines and at that moment we knew that without a doubt, you are real. my first words were, “is this for real, right now?!”. needless to say, i was shocked and scared and completely overcome with emotion. we hugged, and kissed, and i cried. your dad was so sweet and just smiled so big and held me close and told me how much he loves me. i love him so much. and i know that he already loves you so much. you may be tiny, but you are so loved.

we talked about the future, about all the things that are going to change and how are lives will never be the same. we can’t wait to have you. we are scared, but we are beyond thrilled. we are unprepared, but we will be the best parents we can be.

we love you, baby.

love,

mama